support/confidence raising

For the past two weeks I've been meeting with people to explain why I am going to North Africa, what I'll be doing there, and requesting their partnership with me. That part is not too hard. Archie and Cindy (two campus4christ staff and great parents) sat through my first attempt at a presentation. It was pretty bad, but after the initial mess-ups I've grown more comfortable with it.

The tough part is connecting with and asking them if they'd be willing to meet with me. I'm plagued by the worry they don't want to meet me. That they think I'm too much an outsider in their social network to request a financial and prayer partnership. Some struggle with this more than others. I think you can catch me somewhere on the stressed out and but I'm working through my issues side.

Alongside support raising, I've been reading the book of Ephesians (New Testament, middleish). Paul starts off by telling those Ephesians in relationship with Christ that they've been chosen by God to be his children. Children who are not just promised heaven (which is going to be great!) but safe passage in this life as well. As a son of God, I have God residing within me, guaranteeing that I will be made into a more God-like person, until I die, and the transformation is made complete.

That's pretty much Ephesians chapter 1. I'd love to talk about 2 and 3, where Paul writes about the child's previous state of depravity, and the multi-ethnic family God is building on this earth to represent himself, but these are before and after effects of what I find most comforting - the gospel. God bought me with his Son, and has produced faith in me to believe that, and will continue to produce in me exactly what's required, until I die, and stand before him. I could tell myself, "Joe really likes you!," "it's not a big deal if he doesn't," "Go get'em tiger!" as I battle a crumbling opinion of myself when I pick up that phone to call Joe whats-his-name. The gospel tells me I don't need to hang my head in shame or pyche myself up. I'm a brother of Christ - the perfect Son - and God has a plan for me that includes Joe whats-his-name (in some unknown, but good, capacity), and God will carry it through on account of his faithfulness as a father. I walk in sincere and stable faith, not in a "self-help" attitude.

The gospel has been the main source of comfort for me these past two weeks. Funny that it's not some new thing I learned that's doing "it" for me. It's the same place where I started with Christ a long time ago (well... maybe 4 years).