10 reasons why it's hard being a Christian fundamentalist

I was stepping out of the bathroom, deep in thought, thinking about how minority groups often play the "victim card" in order to achieve their ends (not a bad thing). Anyhow, I started asking myself why I never get to play the victim card. It's hard being a White (Male) Anglo-Saxon (conservative) Protestant. Here's ten reasons why:

1)Everyone's out to get you. Especially the media.
2) waking-up early on Sundays
3)Home-schooling is hard
4)You're torn in a love/hate relationship with people from other conservative religions. You can't stand their theology, but find it comforting to know you're not the only one writing petitions to the government on gay marraige.
5)Pentecostals (no toungues on the first date <--- Ryan Lawrence)
6)It's hard work holding up big John 3:16 placards at sporting events
7) crappy radio shows. I think it's a toss-up between Joyce Meyers, Fletcher Brothers, and Mrs. Gee, the ol'British lady that reads OT stories to adults.
8)Creationism, women pastors, and 'Reva-what-tions'
9)Superbowl SUNDAY
10) Guys can't just ask pretty girl out. They've gotta develop friendships, impress her, probly impress her friends, prove themselves in ministry, and finally bear their hearts in elaborate schemes to win her affection. Then she decides whether to give the poor guy a break or continue the process.


P.S. sorry if anyone felt alienated after reading this, but I think that's an important part of blogging...