First Love: communion

Rev 2:14 "But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first."

When in North Africa it hit me that I had really ignored this problem in my life, even though it's a pretty common one. I give things like daily devo's and lust a lot of attention, but the heart of it all gets lost. So I'm committing myself to learn loads about this topic, and apply it. I read a super sermon by Spurgeon, http://blueletterbible.org/Comm/charles_spurgeon/sermons/0217.html
He's got a couple devotionals and commetaries on the passage. Blue letter bible can really hook you up if you check Rev2:4 out (and if you're looking for a little love, Spurgeon can do better than me).

Spurgeon outlines what's it like to live in the first love, which I found useful. But for now, all I want to comment on is the section that most hit me. Here's a quote,

"Dost thou not think, again, that thou hast lost thy first love by neglecting communion with Christ? Now preacher, preach honestly, and preach at thyself. Has there not been, sometimes, this temptation to do a great deal for Christ, but not to live a great deal with Christ? One of my besetting sins, I feel, is this. If there is anything to be done actively for Christ, I instinctively prefer the active exercise to the passive quiet of his presence."

I can relate to this. In the go go activism of C4C, the Inductive Bible Studies, the prayer requests, and everything else, I stopped having the... what should i call it. Waiting for a small little voice to go off in my head while I refrain from sleep? Getting that nice feeling? That's what I often saw communion with God as. But here's what I think now. Child-like expectancy. I think it was pride before that made me make such a difficult thing of communing with God. Not only did it require patience, but it's intellectually difficult. "I DO my Christian activities, i can figure them out. Why do I have to stop everything and listen, especially when I don't really know what to listen to?"

Child-like faith is simple. It doesn't get caught up in the guilt of sin or the pride of working hard for the cause, or the worries of circumstance. It can wait in the unshaking grace of God (Jesus loves me, this I know) and just expect.

To the beautiful peeopl that read this unshapely attempt at describing a quest for Godly communion, I hope you all are putting in the faith to listen to the gentle whisper of the soul. Read some of those Spurgeon commentaries, he's a passionate read.