the best pearls are found in deep waters

I'll get just a little personal. last week has been a bit of a spiritual up down for me. I had to forego some ministry things because I needed a break, but even that wasn't what I really needed. What I needed was an experience with 'You.' I had been asking for You to give me some strength to go on, some better circumstance, some direction, and it felt like I wasn't getting much of anything. I was getting along fine, but I was scrapping the barrel for emotional resources that were otherwise depleted.

You showed up Sunday morning, when I grudingly woke You from a nap cause I was sinking. I had been sinking for a while. "You put me here," I yelled, "it was Your command, Your will, and I obeyed. Do you still care?" I couldn't keep afloat much longer. I've been bailing water, delegating responsibilities, shirking opportunities, and getting sick of myself.

You woke and took care of my circumstances. Fixed my boat, but not my heart - that would take some prep time. Sunday morning You put sat me down, stopped me from opening a commentary, and pushed me back to a passage I had already checked off. It wasn't comfortable. I got angry that You asked the disciples to cross the lake with You, and let them flounder while You slept. Why does it have to be that way?

"Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" I found Your questioning comforting. You didn't promise me the sea wouldn't turn ugly again. But You did imply that I can trust You before my circumstances. That's how I'm going to start this week, not with a sorry looking paddle, or a better boat, but a faith that believes the waves and wind and results are under His control.

This is a good kind of learning. The experiental kind that can seeps into your brain and your practice. You touched me well this week, and I believe it will drive me to a greater level of trust.

Andrew's on facebook

I joined facebook last night, and officially exited the Anti-facebook alliance (my role was to insert the word "crap" for either the "face" or "book" syllable).

There were a lot of different factors. Friends kept on pressuring me, but for a while that only deepened my conviction that crapbook was a waste time. "But it's good for ministry!" I kept on hearing. Indeed, but so are lots of other things. "It's a good way to keep in contact with your old friends." Life goes on, friends fall out of the loop, I don't need to change that process.

It might have been the night I slept in the same bed as Ethan Park that I started to really consider why I didn't like it so much. People were telling me I needed to do it. That itched me. Anyhow, somehow that night with Ethan started to scratch it. I trust Ethan Park enough to take his advice, even though he creeps over at night.

So yeah, I can't really articulate why I'm joining facebook. I have good reasons either way, I'm just kinda trusting good friends that this isn't going to burn my time or identity.

(that's Ethan doing the lawn...)

terra's blog is on caffeine-roids

Terra's blog is pretty great. her current 'post,' which is more of modern day re-enactment of Heb 11 is just great. http://terraleavens.blogspot.com/
check it out

also, I'm in the process of weaning myself off coffee. I've noticed it tampers with my emotional state, and can make my stomach feel weird sometimes. We can become dependent on it, it begins to master our ability to work hard, think well, sleep, etc. so yeah, I'm gonna take a stab at no coffee, even though i got way too much to do this week.

to make-up for a lack of energy i'm gonna try and exercise briefly daily (like push-ups or yogging) and eat more fruit.

anyhow, i would like someone to join me on this. anyone good to try and de-caffienate themselves?

from Ravi to Elijah

Yesterday I got to class early, and it was just me and this other dude mike. He's one of the more respected people in the philosophy department, he knows his stuff. he's also just a good guy. most ppl in philosophy are good 'guys' (not too many women, but those that are there are usually good too. i think because we do more introspection). we casually talked about what we were going to do with our philosophy degrees and I was gonna give a cop out answer I've given before, "I hope to apply to law school or do post-grad and teach." But a still small voice screamed in my head, "BE NATURAL." It's something i've picked up on from my boy John Hood at York, who is very real with his convictions about God to everybody.

So I straight told the guy, "I was planning on law school, but half way through I went through a change and now I want to do short term missionary work before anything else." there, i said it. mike causually said he met some missionaries before and they were cool ppl. we made more small talk, convo dulled, and then he asked if how i can be in philosophy when everything is against me. I told him it was hard at first but now i find it strengthening (sometimes). Oh, and by now the room is starting to fill. Then mike did what I wasn't willing to, and asked "so am i going to hell cause i don't believe in the bible." i fumbled around, told him it was a good question to ask, and answered. amazing thing was the pastor had given the answer the night before. wicked cool. i explained we expect a just system on earth, so we should expect a just one in heaven. perhaps from our perspective we think we're good enough for heaven, but from God's, if He's just He has no obligation to us. Surprisingly mike didn't pursue it, but he grilled me on some other standard tough questions.

Anyhow, i learned a lot from that convo. 1st that God prepared me, not my prev studies. 2nd it's imprt to be natural about who i am. 3rd Give people the truth, don't dance around hell or anything else (i think i danced too much). 4th even though God prepped me the night before, it was still imprt that i had tried to keep fresh by checking out Ravi and other apolgetic material now and then.

and here's the 5 th thing i learned, but you need a context, so please read on. Tmrw (Wed) i'm doing a small outreach on my floor, inviting friends to my room for pizza and spiritual talk. should be cool. I was STRESSING about asking ppl. I am not bold. But by the power of God, and some solid teaching by Dan Mac, I found peace in God and invited people. I was so happy when God relieved me of some of the stress and gave me opportunities to ask some people. Then I go to philosophy class, and get grilled, and do an ok job, but i left that class back where i was. I didn't get it. all these good things are happening, why am i sinking into depression. So i took a nap, and then did some devo's. but instead of studying the bible i meditated (thought hard) about my situation, the gospel, and Elijah (1 Kings 19). The nap helped me think with clarity, as I'm sure it helped Elijah, and meditating on the gospel gave my heart peace, and prepared me for my situation. So 5th thing I learned, time out of heavy ministry to rest and go back to the grace on which you rely.

the event is tomorrow at 10 30pm, and i would still like to invite some more great people, so if you can remember me in your prayers, much appreciated.

any other c4c ppl got MDA stuff on the go?